It can’t be done. At least not by me. Ah, you can sense you’ve stumbled onto a self-indulgent, ranting blog entry, can’t you? Better click the Back button while you stil can.
I can plan to set aside time to work on Joolz…the actual jewelry design stuff (not the marketing, business stuff), but more often than not, life has gotten in the way and sucked whatever creative elements right out of me, leaving me wondering why I ever thought I could do this. Maybe I can’t. Maybe I need to come to terms with that.
I am envious (completely and totally pea green) of those with time to call their own. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most organized person on the surface; however I do juggle more plates some days than many, so it’s not that I’m not working hard. It’s that much of what I do every day is driven by other’s deadlines. I make lists of things that must be done for clients and rewrite them several times a day as their deadlines shift and change, only to reach the end of a very long day with more things on my list than off of it.
And I steal from “my time” because that’s the reality of running your own business—businesses actually—(that and sending off more money to the government every year than is remotely fair, but that’s a rant for another day) trying not to resent that to get a smidgeon of that time back, I’ve got to give up yet another hour of sleep.
And I wonder why I can’t be creative on demand?
And I reach the end of some days completely at the end of my rope, knowing that I’ve got to do it over again the next day. Giving up sounds like the right thing some days. At least for now, I can’t…anymore than I can force the creativity. I can only try again tomorrow.